Sunday, December 21, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Song lyrics for Kasha written by "Villian"
Verse 1
boooyaaaaaa
babeeee... Ehhhhhhh!
Welcome to rehab..
It was all started by a man
named crazzzzzz...Ehhhhhh...VTR.
And here we are! Sit back, relax in our
free, fucking seminar.
Known to some as Kasha!
he cashed out, Carrington
left us his badass house.
Online, irc. Now it's mine you see.
I'm grateful, thankful.
You were so calm, cool and always tranquil
by human nature.
we could never change ya.
We always followed your lead.
Thc was our thereapy. The harsh
reality this world turns young men into a memories.
You loved your mac and cheese.
Pcs and rcs, you induldged in anything
that involved that fucking chemistry.
One thing you hated was fucking traitors
impersonators, backstabbing bitches and imitators.
You were a great mediator you kept
the whispers, drama and fictional stories at the door.
Your only flaw was being to generous.
reast in peace Kasha, we love yaaaa.
this is why i wrote this.
And for his caring mother Chris
in our hearts you still exsist.
Chorus:
La, lah, lah
lalalalala
La, lah, lah
lalalalala
Now your gone it won't be the same
but we continue on and adapt to change.
Grab your bong and blaze it up.
We'll see eachother again
once I meet my maker.
Then blaze it up! Blaze it up!
boooyaaa babeee-Eh.
We looked out for eachother like family, like brothers
like a friendly fucking neighbour
I'll see you once again my friend
when I meet my maker.
Boooyaaa baby.
verse 2
You were one of a kind.
Divine mind, clever, reserved, confined.
Sad it was your due time.
This goes out
to the dearly departed.
Most people you outsmarted.
You had a hard head.
Look what you created, look what you started.
A safe place for junkies
and drug addicts finest.
You tried to live everyday life
like it was a fucking party.
Minus the whiners.
Plenty of pills were popped, nonstop.
We lost the fucking plot.
No suprise the crazy guy
lived to get high, often every night.
You would find him getting buzzed
He had a wild child, juvenile, style.
Rarely hostile. If you had a bad day
somehow he always found a way to make
you smile.
He was liked by many
I heard throughthe grapevine.
A precious life intertwined with drugs
that's the Kasha we came to know and love.
A man with certain principles
he was nuts like the rest of us
but the most sensible.
I used to ruffle feathers but now
I know better. If there were problems
or dilemmas we got through the shit togther.
I'm sorry no one could help you lift the pressure.
Kasha we love ya, it was a pleasure to have met ya
Verse 3
Lah, lahhhhhh.
Crazyvtrrr! this is devoted to you, bruthaaaaa.
Now im blowing out clouds of smoke.
All these motherfuckers too quick to let you go.
And it shows! they aint got you in their heart.
I been there from the fucking start.
When ever there was a problem or I needed advice
I would always hit you uppppp!
Yeah you were unorthodox.
You nuts, but who gives a fuck, so what?
You were always there to take a punch
Bullet from a gun. You were always there...
When you needed someone to count on, Yeah!
You knew what loyality and respect ment.
Unlike these other bitches. That pretend to
and they just sit there.. in fucking silence.
But I knew you would always back me up
reagardless of the amount of fucking violence.
This life it's, like a fucking circus
so sometimes it drives you berserk.
So that's that why I get drunk
and always stir shit.
To re-word it you cope with life any way you can
.thats what makes you a man
nothing ever goes according to plan.
All you can do is deal the cards, that the devil put in your hand.
You never needed to flaunt your power.
That's a sign of respect.
Only cowards look for a way out.
Time is ticking, heres the kicker
we never cared about the bigger picture.
Live for today, fuck tomorrow
we'll worry about that later.
Seems like yesterday
we used to wait for you wake up
and yawn. If only we had known you were
off to meet your maker.
And not have to read about it
in next mornings paper.
It's sad we had to let you go..!
Because of your love for the chemicals!
You were the opposite
of stupid, you started the blueprint.
If you ain't doing something productive
then you might as well be useless.
All you burnouts throw your lighters up.
If you can find them.
you know im forgetful
can be no amnesia you created something special
You were like the conscience I never had
you were an expert at difusing situations
when people got mad, you were brave, bashful.
Why is it always not the assholes?
lived like you're unstoppable
always did what's honorable
lets kick it up a notch
Now both used to count till the smoke ran out.
Both knew we had to slow down
but once we started we never knew how.
pot smokers and jokers sad days are over
we've got to remain focused kasha wouldnt want us to stay sober
You would speak up
when you had enough.
now you loved to wake and bake more then most people loved there eggs and bacon
what do you see when you look out that fucking window
do you see beauty or greatness or do you see darkness and evil
beware of people, they plottin but they see through
Now no one could see
the possibilities
alienated because we chose not to be a fucking sheep
It was no secret but none of us are perfect we all got our problems
But we all deserve it to be happy even if it's temporarily
forgotten.
==============================================================================================
my mind was always truant.
One finger was always on the shottie
inhaling smoke to the body.
im gonna be direct and get straight to the point
I wont be coy we were to busy getting paranoid
missing out on joy you make these choices like flipping a coin
We're failed by a system that apparently works
you lived seen not heard
Now you were the opposite of
an a-hole, devil with a halo"
by "villian" from Australia
Verse 1
boooyaaaaaa
babeeee... Ehhhhhhh!
Welcome to rehab..
It was all started by a man
named crazzzzzz...Ehhhhhh...VTR.
And here we are! Sit back, relax in our
free, fucking seminar.
Known to some as Kasha!
he cashed out, Carrington
left us his badass house.
Online, irc. Now it's mine you see.
I'm grateful, thankful.
You were so calm, cool and always tranquil
by human nature.
we could never change ya.
We always followed your lead.
Thc was our thereapy. The harsh
reality this world turns young men into a memories.
You loved your mac and cheese.
Pcs and rcs, you induldged in anything
that involved that fucking chemistry.
One thing you hated was fucking traitors
impersonators, backstabbing bitches and imitators.
You were a great mediator you kept
the whispers, drama and fictional stories at the door.
Your only flaw was being to generous.
reast in peace Kasha, we love yaaaa.
this is why i wrote this.
And for his caring mother Chris
in our hearts you still exsist.
Chorus:
La, lah, lah
lalalalala
La, lah, lah
lalalalala
Now your gone it won't be the same
but we continue on and adapt to change.
Grab your bong and blaze it up.
We'll see eachother again
once I meet my maker.
Then blaze it up! Blaze it up!
boooyaaa babeee-Eh.
We looked out for eachother like family, like brothers
like a friendly fucking neighbour
I'll see you once again my friend
when I meet my maker.
Boooyaaa baby.
verse 2
You were one of a kind.
Divine mind, clever, reserved, confined.
Sad it was your due time.
This goes out
to the dearly departed.
Most people you outsmarted.
You had a hard head.
Look what you created, look what you started.
A safe place for junkies
and drug addicts finest.
You tried to live everyday life
like it was a fucking party.
Minus the whiners.
Plenty of pills were popped, nonstop.
We lost the fucking plot.
No suprise the crazy guy
lived to get high, often every night.
You would find him getting buzzed
He had a wild child, juvenile, style.
Rarely hostile. If you had a bad day
somehow he always found a way to make
you smile.
He was liked by many
I heard throughthe grapevine.
A precious life intertwined with drugs
that's the Kasha we came to know and love.
A man with certain principles
he was nuts like the rest of us
but the most sensible.
I used to ruffle feathers but now
I know better. If there were problems
or dilemmas we got through the shit togther.
I'm sorry no one could help you lift the pressure.
Kasha we love ya, it was a pleasure to have met ya
Verse 3
Lah, lahhhhhh.
Crazyvtrrr! this is devoted to you, bruthaaaaa.
Now im blowing out clouds of smoke.
All these motherfuckers too quick to let you go.
And it shows! they aint got you in their heart.
I been there from the fucking start.
When ever there was a problem or I needed advice
I would always hit you uppppp!
Yeah you were unorthodox.
You nuts, but who gives a fuck, so what?
You were always there to take a punch
Bullet from a gun. You were always there...
When you needed someone to count on, Yeah!
You knew what loyality and respect ment.
Unlike these other bitches. That pretend to
and they just sit there.. in fucking silence.
But I knew you would always back me up
reagardless of the amount of fucking violence.
This life it's, like a fucking circus
so sometimes it drives you berserk.
So that's that why I get drunk
and always stir shit.
To re-word it you cope with life any way you can
.thats what makes you a man
nothing ever goes according to plan.
All you can do is deal the cards, that the devil put in your hand.
You never needed to flaunt your power.
That's a sign of respect.
Only cowards look for a way out.
Time is ticking, heres the kicker
we never cared about the bigger picture.
Live for today, fuck tomorrow
we'll worry about that later.
Seems like yesterday
we used to wait for you wake up
and yawn. If only we had known you were
off to meet your maker.
And not have to read about it
in next mornings paper.
It's sad we had to let you go..!
Because of your love for the chemicals!
You were the opposite
of stupid, you started the blueprint.
If you ain't doing something productive
then you might as well be useless.
All you burnouts throw your lighters up.
If you can find them.
you know im forgetful
can be no amnesia you created something special
You were like the conscience I never had
you were an expert at difusing situations
when people got mad, you were brave, bashful.
Why is it always not the assholes?
lived like you're unstoppable
always did what's honorable
lets kick it up a notch
Now both used to count till the smoke ran out.
Both knew we had to slow down
but once we started we never knew how.
pot smokers and jokers sad days are over
we've got to remain focused kasha wouldnt want us to stay sober
You would speak up
when you had enough.
now you loved to wake and bake more then most people loved there eggs and bacon
what do you see when you look out that fucking window
do you see beauty or greatness or do you see darkness and evil
beware of people, they plottin but they see through
Now no one could see
the possibilities
alienated because we chose not to be a fucking sheep
It was no secret but none of us are perfect we all got our problems
But we all deserve it to be happy even if it's temporarily
forgotten.
==============================================================================================
my mind was always truant.
One finger was always on the shottie
inhaling smoke to the body.
im gonna be direct and get straight to the point
I wont be coy we were to busy getting paranoid
missing out on joy you make these choices like flipping a coin
We're failed by a system that apparently works
you lived seen not heard
Now you were the opposite of
an a-hole, devil with a halo"
by "villian" from Australia
Monday, July 14, 2014
Eulogy for Kasha Carrington 6-21-1978 to 2-28-2014
Kasha
Carrington—Memorial Service June 21, 2014
Song:
Amazing
Grace
song by everyone
Greeting
by Martha
Friends,
we gather today in a circle of healing love.
Here
we can pour out our grief, release our anger,
face
our emptiness and know that we are not alone.
We
gather, conscious of the frailty of our existence here on earth,
and
grateful for the moments of beauty and joy that we have shared.
We
are here to comfort and support one another in our common loss.
And
most of all, we are here to say goodbye to Kasha,
and
to remember him with love.
(invite
people to Lago afterward)
Poems:
You
will lose someone by Anne Lamott
read
by Kathy Johnson
You will lose
someone you can’t live without,
And your heart will
be badly broken,
And the bad news is
that you will never completely get over the loss of your beloved.
But this is also the
good news.
They live forever in
your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up.
And you come
through.
It’s like having a
broken leg that never heals perfectly; that still hurts when the
weather gets cold,
But you learn to
dance with the limp.
A
Pretty Song by Mary Oliver
(read by Kathy Johnson)
From
the complications of loving you
I
think there is no end or return
No
answer, no coming out of it.
Which
is the only way to love, isn’t it?
This
isn’t a playground, this is
earth,
our heaven, for a while.
Therefore
I have given precedence
to
all my sudden, sullen dark moods,
that
hold you in the center of my world.
And
I say to my body, grow thinner still.
And
I say to my fingers, type me a pretty song.
And
I say to my heart: rave on.
Song:
Poor
Man’s Son
Poem
This is the Silent Haven by Robert G. Ingersoll
a doer of generous
deeds has reached the silent haven
that all the dead
have reached,
and where the voyage
of every life must end; and we,
his friends, who
even now are hastening after him,
are met to do the
last kind acts that man may do for man—
to tell his virtues
and to lay with tenderness
and tears his ashes
in the sacred place of rest and peace.
Sharing
Tributes and Words of Remembrance:
- Chris –eulogy read by Andy
- Tributes from online friends read by his local friends
- Chat room dialog …. recreated by David Hunter and Lynda Barber
- Jason Sykes poem read by Jason
- Others…..
Time
of Silence
Words
of Blessing by Martha
Let
us go forth to support one another, all the day long,
of
this life full of sorrow and full of joy,
until
the shadows lengthen and the evening comes,
and
the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over,
and
our work is done.
Then
may we all be granted a safe lodging, and a holy rest,
and
peace at the last. Amen.
Poem
Robert Weston read by Mary Mathias
I will lift up my
voice and sing;
Whatever may befall
me,
I will still follow
the light which kindles song.
I will listen to the
music
Arising out of grief
and joy alike,
I will not deny my
voice to the song.
For in the depth of
winter, song,
Like a bud peeking
through the dry crust of earth,
Brings back . . .
the hope and anticipation of spring;
Out of the
destruction of dear hopes,
Out of the agony of
heartbreak,
Song rises once more
to whisper to us
That even this is
but the setting for a new beginning,
And that we shall
yet take the pieces of our broken hearts
And create a pattern
of deeper, truer shades.
Closing Song:
Wish you were Here --Avril Lavigne
Placing of ashes in the ground by
Chris during this song
Kasha, what a strange name, a hippie name. I choose the name because I liked the sound it made. A strong syllable followed by a soft one. Hoping he would be strong and yet soft. And in a way he was.
He lived by his rules, his way. Not what I would of chosen for him, but we all make our own way in life, we all live by our choices. He lived and died by his. He was a good person, a kind person, a thoughtful and caring friend. He never ask for anything, but he freely gave. He had a wickedly dry sense of humor. Once when he was about 20 he crashed a car I had given him, he walked home and told me about it. Seems a fly had flown in and he was trying to shoe it out the window. So he lost attention to his driving and rolled down an embankment. I asked him "So what did you learn from this?" And he answered, total deadpan and without missing a beat ...."flies are evil". I really loved his quick wit. When I was going through his belongings I laughed when I came across a t-shirt of his that said "No, I will not fix your computer". But of course he did. He fixed all computers of anyone who asked him.
So many people will miss him. I didn't know that until his death when his friends started contacting me to express their sorrow and shock and sadness. His NEK friends especially. This wonderful group of kids that embraced him in high school. And embrace me now. They are all my kids now! After high school he just shut them out of his life, as he did most people in the face-to-face world. He chose another path.
He spent the last 6 years in his room in front of a computer. He had friends in many different chat rooms and eventually started one of his own. He had quite a following, they were from all over the world and they held him in such high regard. He was the moderator, the peace keeper, the computer guru and music, TV and film buff. He was always willing to help them, give them advise, share his computer skills, teach them. Some knew him for over ten years. Kasha reached more people than I ever knew. His memorial website has some 2000 hits. Seems he was quite an inspiration. And a quiet inspiration. Every day I learn more and I want to thank all his online friends who have reached out to me and shared what a wonderful and kind and generous man he was.
My dear little boy you will be missed more than you can ever fathom. My sweet little blond baby who learned to talk around the constant presence of a pacifier or bottle in his mouth. He loved to build. Anything and everything. And take apart. At 5 he took apart our telephone. Just a few years later he was re-assembling those things in even better condition. I swear he could fix most electronic things. Not so good in school, he was a round peg and didn't fit into "their" square hole. But he found his calling at age 9 or 10 when I bought him his first computer, an Apple 2E. Wish I still had it! This was when we had to write code in DOS on a little green screen, before Windows. He soon learned that and more, specializing in taking them apart and fixing them. In high school he had so many friends! They were the neatest kids and pulled him out and made him have fun. I loved having them in my home, and still cherish them in my life. It is a shame he pulled away from them after graduation. He worked at Newport Furniture Parts for 10 years running the CNC machine and this seemed like a good fit. Then one day it all came tumbling down. At the time I didn't really know what had happened, but now I do. Drugs happened. Some people come into this world just not quite knowing how to cope. My dear little boy. All I have now is this hole in my heart and my memories. At least you are at peace.
Today would of been your 36th birthday and we gather to celebrate your birth...... and life. You left us suddenly and way too soon.
"Hi Chris, (3/6/14)
I am so sorry for your loss. We are all devastated. I know Kasha chose to alienate himself, and I had talked to him about it many times. He was actually making plans to move to Greensboro, NC with a mutual friend and possibly open up a computer repair business. He was worried about flying with his cats and I even offered to drive from Virginia to Vermont and get him and the cats and bring him to Greensboro. I was really hoping that he would do it, because then there would be people around to make him interact. That being said, I knew him from an IRC online chat room. There he had lots of friends, just in a different way I suppose. He was sweet and sensitive and always wanted everyone to get along. I feel blessed to have known him. The people that knew him on IRC have been worried about him for weeks. We also would like for you to join us one day at your conveinence so we can share our stories of him with you. I am a mother myself and I know your grief is awful, if you need me or anything feel free to contact me. Again I am so sorry for your loss. Jenna" from Virginia
From Nancy (4/27/14). "We all loved him and miss him dearly he was a great guy/ friend to everyone."
From Alex in California (4/22/2014): "Kasha was an equalizer, he knew how to balance out the group and could always diffuse fights and get everyone to get along. He did it with humor and love. He recruited and nurtured broken souls."
From: "remnantv"
"Kasha....I'm going to miss you man. You are one of the very few I have looked up to. I can't express enough gratitude and the value of the things I learned from you. You were the best and we are all going to miss you more than words can describe. The world lost one of the best and most unique dudes out there. Thank you for being such a good friend. We will meet again and I look forward to that day. "
From: br34l
"i love you for your effort at my news channel. i hate the fact that you never could tought me the way it works. Thank you for everything. :'-( "
From: prue420
"You where one of a kind Kasha, I have never met such a smart creative person my whole life. You tough me everything I know about computers but there was still always something I didn't know so I would get hold of ya you would come over and we would just sit there for hours working on the pc and my gf would ask you if you where hungry and you would say no and she would make you a plate anyways lol. Then you would get right back to showing me what was wrong with the pc and fix it. I remember you came over once and our cat had kittens and you just sat there holding this grey one and I told ya you could have it and you just lit up and took him him home. I still have a pic of you holding it. I am going to miss our long talks and computer projects. I swear there was nothing you couldn't fix or figure out.This world lost a wonderful caring brilliant person and me and my family will never forget you."
"Oh, my friend.
You have turned into the energy you always wanted...
Always so precise, always so learned..
You left before we all thought you should...
You left us here to wonder where you've gone...
Where ever it is that you are now, my friend...
I hope you are comfortable, i hope you are safe...
Rage on, hack on, and fight the power Kash.
I'm going to miss you buddy, see you when i get there...
Keep that channel open, we got things to do." by Jason Sykes
From "L0tus":
"The visits were too far between. It was an honor to know someone that was so intelligent. I won't forget all of the times we had to walk to your place and find you, most of the time Skip or Rob would have to climb up to your window, now it's too far to reach. Although it feels like a thousand years since I last saw you, dear friend you will never be forgotten. Until another place in time when we shall meet again. xo"
From: "sockets"
"Damnit man.. You were my brother, my friend, and sometimes even my partner in crime.... ( just good fun of course :P ) You were always a very smart man, but almost never said a word. Even when you needed help. I'm gonna miss you brother."
March 7th on IRC, Kasha's chat room
"[14:05] <!L0ki> there she is
[14:05] <@xenyx> Afternoon.
[14:05] <!villain> hello chris
[14:06] <@xenyx> I'm sorry about what has happened. I'm hurting since I heard it.
[14:06] <!villain> <------ im the aussie
[14:06] <@xenyx> Even now my eyes start to burn thinking about it. He was my best friend online.
[14:07] <!L0ki> christine your son was a part of all these peoples lives on here
[14:07] <!villain> yeh, this is what he started. alot of people miss him
[14:07] <!L0ki> we all miss him
[14:07] <@xenyx> YES!
[14:07] <!`pinkii> Hello Chris.. so sorry about kasha we all miss him so much please let us know where we can send a card & flowers
[14:07] <!villain> YEH!!
[14:08] <@xenyx> We do, miss him a lot. He cared about everyone. That's unique and hard for most individuals in the real world.
[14:08] <!`pinkii> he has alot more friends then this =)
[14:08] <!`pinkii> he was the nicest person you could meet
[14:11] <!rolls> hi Christine, I can't think of anything comforting to say but I am sorry. He spent a lot of time here, almost like it was his second home.
[14:12] <!`pinkii> yeah we were like his second family
[14:12] <!g0dspeak> we all loved him dearly
[14:12] <!`pinkii> so true
[14:13] <@xenyx> That's so sad to hear, hurts to think he could have reached that age. When I last spoke with him I thought how I couldn't wait to be talking to him still into his 40s.
[14:22] <!killkillkill> im sorry for your loss chris
[14:22] <@xenyx> He did a lot of work, and started and worked with other subsidiary channels. He was always open to help others. That I can't stress enough.
[14:22] <!killkillkill> he was a grwat dude
[14:22] <@vtchris> thank you this is helping so much you can't imagine
[14:22] <!killkillkill> great*
[14:22] <@xenyx> Kasha was always helpful!
[14:22] <!g0dspeak> yes he was
14:23] <!g0dspeak> brightened my day many times
[14:23] <@vtchris> and mine
[14:23] <!villain> any computer problem u had
[14:23] <!villain> hed help u solve it
[14:23] <@vtchris> yes
[14:23] <@xenyx> As he did mine, and many others.
[14:23] <@Deadned5> Yeah I only spoke to him a couple of times myself, he was a good guy.
[14:24] <!Olo_Burrows> he was too good to these little monsters in here chris........a true humanitarian and i only knew him a short while
[14:26] <@xenyx> Awesome, and compassionate.
[14:28] <!L0ki> anyway vtchris I am glad you got to come here and see us all. We used to sit and wait for him to speak up all the time. Sometimes it would be private chats other times he would talk your ears off in the channel but he loved being around everyone
[14:37] <@xenyx> Kasha was / is the best. He inculcated and drew the best of us. Can't say how helpful he was. Always there. I imagine as much for everyone as me.
[14:43] <!EViLPRiCK> vtchris, sorry for your loss :\ your son was a funny man
[14:44] <!EViLPRiCK> he made a lot of us laugh
[15:36] <!Gaz> he was the nicest guy in here, that's for sure.
The graveside service was attended by 40-50 close friends. The wooden box was hand made by my cousin out of African Mahogany and I placed a Pentium 486 computer processor on top. Picture with me and his close friends. And a wonderful art tribute made of old floppy discs and photos by Jenn LeBlanc.
We all gathered at a local restaurant for food and drink and friendship after the service.
After the event I had this to say: "I don't quite know how to express this, but I just want to say that Kasha's Memorial created such a healing in me. It was a most beautiful service. Fitting and perfect. I now understand the importance of ritual. I felt embraced. Thank you all for your love and hugs and flowers and presence and support. He is at rest and I have a newly found sense of peace. With love in my heart, Chris"
In response to a thank you card (they were printed with a photo of me and Kasha) that I sent Mary and others after the Memorial:
" I have the card on our dining room table; it is a joy to see that smiling face and remember all the good things about Kasha’s life, and about your life together with him all those years ago. I remember what a good and attentive Mom you were, and his happy childhood, and how you never stopped looking for solutions later. Your message is special too – about the healing. I know it comes and goes, but one always hopes the joy will come to tip the balance more and more; though it can never be the whole thing, it can be a large part of what’s inside us . . . .
The Memorial was a healing event; a beautiful service, caring friends, the setting, the bench – well put-together, with music, reflection, silence – I do believe everyone there was touched in their lives in a new way, and came away changed. Kasha did this – and you did this, and his friends did this – taking an unfathomable event and turning it into a loving, lasting experience for a community of people.
Thank you Chris."
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